A bar on the mainland- Tuesday night

[notconflicted]

Sia wasn't entirely sure it was the best thing for her to be here, and not just because she was worried about taking a night off from her nonstop terrible job for once. It was just that she and Atton had not had a great year, relationshipwise, and then there'd been an added depression-inducing complication with terrible timing when Sia already wasn't sure how to navigate things yet. She didn't like feeling unsure.

But she was deciding that was background. They were friends, and she worried about him, and she was at least a reason to get him out. Off island, even, to a bar they'd been to before, where Sia asked, "Are you going to roll your eyes if I ask you what I'm drinking tonight?"


[For Atton!]

Comments

[suitably_heroic]

"So I might've pushed Seivarden around a little," Atton said casually. "... Maybe to the point of storming out."

[notconflicted]

"Good. I hope you've done it several times since then as well."

What, it sounded like it would be deserved.

[suitably_heroic]

"She's been avoiding me, which suits me just fine," Atton said. "Until 3MD anyway."

[notconflicted]

"It's good to know you can still make friends," she said lightly. "Why did you sign up for the dates?"

[suitably_heroic]

"I just came in to get a drink, and there they were," Atton said. "Figured it was a sign from the island it was going to be an ass if I didn't go along with it."

[notconflicted]

"It's probably good that you went," she said with a slight shrug of one shoulder. "Getting out can help. I actually miss doing things like that."

[suitably_heroic]

"I'm fine," Atton said, eyeing his drink very closely all of a sudden.

[notconflicted]

"You're not," she said simply. "But I wouldn't expect you to be."

[suitably_heroic]

Atton rubbed at his forehead. "It's bad enough that Sparkle's doing the Atton's-a-mess-again dance," he said. "Please don't start."

[notconflicted]

"Which part of that was me starting something?" she asked.

[suitably_heroic]

"'Going out can help'?" Atton offered.

[notconflicted]

"And then I said that I missed doing that?" she pointed out. "It wasn't meant to start anything. Though now I wonder if I should."

[suitably_heroic]

"That brings me right back to 'please don't," Atton said, grimacing.

[notconflicted]

She paused, and considered not pushing. And then decided if he got mad, at least it was better than whatever this was.

"You know we're worried because we care about you."

[suitably_heroic]

"If you start worrying about me, you're going to be doing it for the rest of your lives or mine," Atton said, sighing. "It's not worth it, Si."

[notconflicted]

"I've been worrying about you since high school, this is just different," she told him, and paused. "She worried, too."

[suitably_heroic]

"She always did," Atton said. He sounded a little distant.

[notconflicted]

"I'm not going to tell you to snap out of it. I know it's not that easy.," she said gently. "But if your whole purpose now is living for her, I'm confident she wouldn't want this for you."

[suitably_heroic]

"No, she wouldn't," Atton said. He reached for his drink. "But it's not like she cared what I wanted for her, either."

[notconflicted]

"And what about those of us who don't want this for you, either?" she asked.

[suitably_heroic]

"You can will a lot into existence, Si, I know, I've seen you do it," Atton said, raising his glass. "But you can't will me into being someone I'm not."

[notconflicted]

"All I want is for you to feel like yourself," Sia frowned. "This isn't the first time in you've said something like that. What is it you think I expect you to be?"

[suitably_heroic]

"This is me," Atton said, resisting the urge to lower his voice. "A damaged disaster area. Haven't you been paying attention?"

You probably shouldn't drink a margarita that way.

[notconflicted]

"Yes, after the way you treated me this year I've clearly been idealizing you," Sia said evenly.

[suitably_heroic]

"Who said anything about idealizing?" Atton said, blinking at her. "I mean, was this your big plan for tonight? Take me to a bar, tell me I'm letting everybody down because I can't Force-throw myself into being the functional human being I haven't been in years, and then make me feel guilty about the past year? Because you could've just skipped ahead to the last part and saved yourself some time."